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Posted by
felicia on June 06, 2005 at 12:47:30:
last night at the praise service at st. ninians was one of those mind clearing moments when one thinks...what have i gotten myself in to.
there were a load of the children up at the front of the church, which is where we sit with them, the front right. there were two children who could not seem to keep from yelling at full volume back and forth. and hitting each other and jumping about and banging about. they were just doing their usual thing i suppose. it was just the first time that i'd been witness, also the first time i'd been somewhat "in charge" of them. i found myself getting very stressed and feeling like there was nothing i could do about the situation of these kids being wild and distracting. i found myself overwhelmed. i felt as though i'd really gotten in over my head. and when discussing it after with some of my team, it seems that this was really not all that bad for them. that at times the children can be found crawling under the pues in the church. oooh man. after the service and the tea i was dropped off at mossvale church to visit with the old crew. i went home with Pastor Robert and Jeanne Chalk (sooo good!).
i found their home to be a shelter. and Pastor Chalk really encouraged me saying that if one is called then one must fight for it. that it's not an easy place, the people are not easy people. This is where I know God has called me for such a time as this. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend, and I doubt I ever will. I don't have what it takes, but my Father does. He never said it was gonna be easy. I've not even see hard yet. I must find His strength daily, moment by moment. I must hear and speak His words for not only this community, or this lovely country, but for each child, each adult, friend, leader, co-laborer, and family member. I have not a thing to give except what My Father bestows upon me. I know this. How it works it way out on a daily basis when life is happening full force is an entirely different matter indeed. But the truth remains true. How great the Father's love for us. How Faithful. How Mighty He is. How great His love for me.
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